How to Change (when you don’t want to)

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Has a quote ever shook your soul and opened your eyes to reality? One that inspires you to change for the better?

“Nothing happens until the pain of remaining the same outweighs the pain of change.” -Arthur Burt

That Arthur Burt was a smart man. This saying has been so important to many aspects of my life and I’m going to tell you how it can change yours. All it takes is a mindset shift when making choices.

Change your Health

I’ve given birth to two healthy girls. I have a sweet tooth. I’m 35lbs heavier than I’d like to be. I don’t make time for exercise. I have a sweet tooth.

Have I mentioned I like my sweets? In my dreams, I can eat cheesecake all day long and still look like a VS model. Maybe you eat pizza or fried chicken in your dreams.

You know as much as I do that diet is just as important if not more than fitness when working towards a healthy life. In other words, I can’t have my cake and flat abs too.

It all comes down to choices. You can choose to continue your unhealthy diet, or you can choose a healthier one. Binge watch Netflix, or hit the gym.

You won’t change your health until the pain of having a muffin-top outweighs the pain of getting off your ass and eating a salad. 

Wow. That’s some heavy, yet simple truth right there.

For me, it’s finally getting sick of not fitting into my clothes. I can complain about it, or I can do something about it. It’s that simple.

This concept also helped me when quitting smoking. I realized that I could smoke and wish I didn’t, or not smoke and wish I did. If I was going to be miserable either way, I’d rather be healthier. I can eat what I want and be overweight, or fit in my clothes and droll at every food commercial that comes on.

Change your Job

You put in your forty hours a week like everyone else, but at what cost? Are your coworkers toxic? Do you wish you could stay at home with your babies? Maybe your boss demands more of you then is physically possible.

If you feel stuck or unsatisfied, it may be time for a switch. Is that a terrifying thought? For some it is.

It’s scary to take risks with your paycheck, retirement, benefits, status, etc. What if it doesn’t work out? What if the next job is worse than your current one?

You won’t change your career until the pain of being in an overworked/toxic/thankless job outweighs the risk of searching for a new one.

Take some time to write down pros and cons, along with your breaking points.

Two years ago I decided that I would rather stay home with my young toddler and quit my full-time accounting position at a law firm. Instead of working a traditional 9-5 job, I choose to start up my own clothing boutique that I run on my own schedule. I lost 401k contributions, health care, and a consistent paycheck, but I gained extra cuddles, watching many ‘firsts’, and flexibility.

In the end, I won and have no regrets, but I had to reach that point of decision and weigh pains.

Change your (insert pain here)

If you’re stuck in a relationship, weigh your pains. Do you need to dig deep and try reconnecting with your partner, or break up and ‘be lonely’?

If you’re parenting a teenager, weigh your pains. Do you continue yelling and fighting like ‘that crazy mom’ because it’s easy, or swallow your pride and try a new, calmer approach to discipline?

If you’re an overspender, weigh your pains. Do you have to always have the newest phone to keep up with The Joneses, or do you risk being ‘a step behind’ so that you have emergency funds set aside?

Change is hard. If it was easy, we’d all be living perfect lives. Getting stuck between two tough choices happens all too often, so be prepared.

Think through each of your options, weighing the pros and cons, then commit to the change. You’ll thank yourself in the future for sticking it out and being tougher than you thought you were.

If you’ve had to make a tough choice recently, let us know below! There’s great power in knowing we’re not alone in our struggles. As always, you can message me to further this conversation in private. I’m all ears for my readers <3